First, I'd like to clarify that I am grateful to be at a UWC. Opportunities like this are not afforded to many and I am both aware and thankful the privilege it is to be here. Especially with another wonderful Kenyan (thus the cover photo). However, like everything else, there are multiple lenses through which one thing can be viewed. LPC (Li Po Chun United World College) of course, is one of them.
"Wow Jadyn! Must be so amazing to be in an environment with such liberal views and diverse, progressive minded individuals!"
Yes but No.
Why?
These perspectives appear to disappear so frequently, you begin to question whether they even exist. Yes, in comparison to my previous school experiences, the campus is liberal. One thing that drew me to UWC was the values it represents and challenges its students to uphold. However, I’ve had several experiences where 'good intention' is embellished by "accidentally" offensive actions by people who "didn't mean it like that".
LPC is such a weird place that one day you hear eloquent, deeply compelling arguments on oppressed female sexuality, the next- you have your English teacher tugging at your braids stating "but it's not your hair."
Context?
My teacher, classmate and I are discussing the varying portrayals of Michele Obama when we begin to talk about her hairstyle in one shot. As he fumbles trying to describe a weave, he holds onto a few of my braids, tugging and stating "these are extensions." At this point, you're probably thinking, "say something Jad!"
I didn't.
I don't know why, but I didn't. I made a mistake and didn't seriously express my discomfort. Instead, I sarcastically responded, "yes, grab my hair because THAT'S ok".
The long 2 minutes after, all I could think about was how I'd look if I angrily called him out. If I said I was uncomfortable. Internally I was fuming, combusting in a ball of anger and shock. But this wasn't the first time I've had to "control myself" because I'd be the angry black woman offended by everything in class. It just has to be the last.
LPC is such a strange place because amidst the hum of idealism and proactivity, its a meeting ground for white saviors and rape apologists. It's where racism and prejudice in comics are justified in class to provide aNotHer pErsPective or where you hear another 'In Africa...' story in an ESS* class. There reached a point where I would joke that if I just said “In Africa” followed by a negative statement, no one would question its truth. I acknowledge that African countries have large problems but why are we the template for how not to deal with every problem? Honestly, I’m tired of having my teacher make prolonged eye contact with me when we talk about scarce water resources or an uninformed population like these issues don’t exist anywhere except where her black students are from. I’m tired of seeing shock when I talk about Kenya banning plastic bags and making progress with the problem of plastic pollution.
These are the things I wish I prepared myself better for.
The worst part, I find myself almost forced to make excuses for people because 'I'm overreacting' or 'too sensitive'. Apparently, I'm radical because of my rage. But how am I meant to feel if I consistently have these experiences? When I'm expected to be polite when it feels like I'm being attacked. Oh Jad, so dramatic!
How am I 'correctly' supposed to voice my feelings? Is there a way to do that? Because if so, pass me the handbook so I can explain my experiences in a way that you would understand.
Oh I'm sorry, did that offend you?
You'd like me to express myself in a way that pardons you because CLEARLY you weren't the one in the wrong?
Oh, I misunderstood...ok.
LPC is supposed to be a safe learning space, but if I have to worry about white fragility even when I feel that something wrong has been done against me, what does that say?
I don't want to be in a class where black people having their humanity stripped away and being degraded is debatable. Where we ask if cultures should be abandoned because "a few people are offended". While discussing the third image, that question came up. If you can't see what's wrong with impersonating black people in this way in the name of culture, I don't have the mental nor emotional energy to explain it to you. You can read here though. Here's an excerpt:
Black Piet is an expression of numerous classic Western prejudices against black peoples that depict inferiority. He conveys the position of both a servant, and the child that exemplifies the paternal/ childlike imagery of the colonizer to the colonized, the missionary to the converted, and the master to the servant. He embodies stupidity as well as the immaturity created as justification for reason to discipline as well as the comedic spectacle of the African too savage to be able to fully become ‘civilized’.
Below are some of the images we analyzed during an English class that generated the conversation:
Yes I know UWC and LPC specifically are not perfect places. I'm just tired of having to make excuses for your favourite teacher. At one point, they were mine too. Now, all I hope for, is to leave one of their classes without being offended.
*ESS- Environmental Systems and Societies
Hope my little rant didn't bore you. If you'd like to talk more about race and UWC or about this post in general, fill in my contact form here
Have a great weekend!
X
Jadynsweb.
Note:
Recognize that these are my own views not necessarily those of everyone or even a majority of members of the LPC community. They might be minor incidents to some, but they were significant enough for me to think about them for days and even months.
References for images:
https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2019/11/27/zwarte-piet-black-pete-is-dutch-racism-in-full-display